Saturday, January 19, 2008

It is 10:35

and I am excited about having a little bit of time to set my life straight. Yay for the openings of plays that thereby free up your Saturday afternoons.

On the bus today I sat across from two guys with the suits and the backpacks and the name tags and the bibles. It made me wonder, as a loud high school girl talked loudly about sex and drugs a few seats away from us, what do those people think about in large groups? Do they pray for us? Do they feel pity? Hatred? Or are they simply wondering whether or not they remembered to put their wash in the dryer? Another thing I always wondered about is the whole sex thing. Like, if they saw someone they found attractive, do you think they would purposely avoid them or would they use the whole Jesus thing to try to get some digits? The whole thing confuses me- there are just so many layers.

Plus, in addition to, furthermore and consecutively; It was my birthday yesterday and I have found that as I get older, the ages I reach seem to be younger than I had always thought them to be. For example. At 16, 18 seemed so much older, more mature, together, sexier, adult, etc. At 18 I still felt like I was 15 except the government could pretend to count my vote. Now that I am the ripe young age of 23 I still feel like...well, like I'm 15 except with additional things that I should have accomplished and life goals I should have already figured out. Sometimes I don't even really feel like I've left home. I still have this expectation of "growing up" even though all the evidence I have gathered seems to indicate that it's one of the bigger lies we've ever been told. Which is actually kind of a nice thing (that growing up is a lie, I mean) because still feeling like a 15 year old is pretty fun. And if I actually lived the way I expected a 23-year-old to live, I don't think I'd be nearly as happy as I am right now. And I'm pretty fucking happy.

Well, that's enough from me. Goodnight moon.

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