By Shane Jones and Liza: A GChat Story

Please be aware: all "haha's" and "ok's" and "hmmm's" have been removed from this conversation for your convenience.


Shane:
so there's Little Mustache
everyone hates Little Mustache
he has little legs and little arms
and a little penis

Liza: (don't you always want it to be spelled moustache?)

Shane: yeah
Little Moustache walks around by himself all day
he punches trees to feel strong

Liza: (and he wears a big coat)

Shane: yeah, his coat is too big
so one day Little Moustache
i'm watching television now
this is hard
one day Little Moustache meets Big Beard

Liza: oh shit

Shane: yeah, Big Beard is terrible
he kicks Little Moustache right in the center of his moustache

Liza: bully

Shane: okay, now i need your help
Little Moustache could start lifting weights

Liza: I think the kick makes Little Moustache's moustache get really big

Shane: yeah, it just starts growing
into this massive beard
it's gigantic

Liza: huge!

Shane: "Fuck you Big Beard!"

Liza: "My Little Moustache is Bigger than your Big Beard!"

Shane: i'm going to send this story to Paris Review

Liza: as you should
so Big Beard gets so embarrassed that he's clearly lost the pissing contest

Shane: he starts jerking off

Liza: wow- that's one way to deal with humiliation

Shane: let's just throw a bunch of flith at
the end
Little Moustache shits on everyone he's ever known, fucks every woman

Liza: and this one guy he always had a thing for
He pisses on trees
and the dogs pissing on trees
wait

Shane: then there's a giant fuckfest...the end?

Liza: I'm confused

Shane: this is out of control

Liza: does Big Beard start the filth?
or does Little Moustache?
which one starts jerking off?

Shane: ummm
maybe they both can

Liza: great

Shane: they have a jerk-off contest
that makes sense

Liza: maybe B.B. starts out of humiliation and L.M. thinks it's a terrific idea

Shane: hairballs are flying through the air

Liza: hairballs?
wow
from the fuckfest?

Shane: yeah, that's awesome

Liza: the end